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TOWIE, EGGS & SINGLE LIFE

Reality TV has never been known for its deep meanings or life lessons. That is until last week. Continue reading “TOWIE, EGGS & SINGLE LIFE”

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Smelly Feet and Self Employment

So I’ve been unusually silent since escaping from the lunatic asylum that was my corporate hell. One might think that this is because I’ve been manically job hunting, pulling my hair out to find some other office loon who will employ me. But no. None of the above. Continue reading “Smelly Feet and Self Employment”

Clocking out…

So I only went and bloody did it. Notice handed in. End of corporate torture.

What now? Continue reading “Clocking out…”

Corporate whoring…..

Something terrible happened yesterday. I mean bad. I high-fived someone. There was no irony, there was no hidden sarcasm. I instigated it. Worse still, I added “well done buddy!” to the cheese-ridden gesture. Continue reading “Corporate whoring…..”

An afternoon in the life of……

Let me set the scene. It’s 2:59pm. There is a gloomy blanket of cloud settled over my London view and I am surrounded by people talking about boring business things. Construction stuff, measurements, contract particulars blah blah blah.  I am desperate to go home.

I have given up the pretence of caring and merely ignore people when they talk to me. Continue reading “An afternoon in the life of……”

Talking ‘high level’

 

When you enter the planet of the corporate animal, normal conversational rules do not apply. It’s about survival. You duck high fives and look away when they wink at you, ignore private messages from the creepy team stalker, hide in the conference room to avoid the tedium and take frequent trips up and down in the lift to wile away the time.

Simple requests become lost among words like ‘synergy’, ‘innovate’, ‘granular’, ‘crystal ball’. Meetings become ‘sit downs’, chats become ‘having a catch up’, making coffee becomes a simple release from the corporate fuckwittery that pervades the environment.  Continue reading “Talking ‘high level’”

Body Basics

I was going to attempt a serious post, one that talked about world issues and the sadness of daily news. I was ready to stretch my brain matter and create a riveting social commentary that would go viral and I’d be congratulated for my enormous intelligence. It was going to be epic. But then a colleague sitting opposite me decided to shove his finger in his ear. Continue reading “Body Basics”

My writing life….

When in doubt, write. That has been my fall back for many years. Probably most of my life.

When I was younger it was the locked diary, pink (obvs), covered in hearts (cliché). And hidden from my older sister (in my bedside draw, really shitty hiding place). Why I thought my primary school angst was interesting to anyone but me? Precocious child syndrome.

Then there were the journal days. I graduated from the flimsy padlock diary to pilfered school text books. I would lovingly cover them in pictures cut out from Smash Hits and Just 17 (I wasn’t 17 but thought I was such a rebel). I would scrawl my thoughts and daily doings over multiple pages. Using different colour pens and masses of exclamation marks. Continue reading “My writing life….”

A morning in the life of……

Welcome to my world. It is not very exciting. However by all accounts it should be. I am 30-something, 5ft2, single and am more intent on finding work I love than a man I love (an issue my mother worries about continuously).

I live in London- arguably the best city in the world – but I do not appreciate it enough. By day I ooze urban chic (this is a lie) and I then return to the warm glow of Sam’s Chicken in my suburban safe hole. Continue reading “A morning in the life of……”

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